There are times in my life when I’ve struggled to understand another person’s point of view and tried my best to find a fair medium. I’m going through a situation currently where I’m at a complete loss as to what to do to form a compromise and it’s fixing to end a friendship.
Since starting a new relationship with much future potential and anticipation, I’ve spent a lot of time building what we both hope to be a long relationship that will be both of our lasts. We’ve found in each other what we’ve both always wanted and life is finally where we’d both like it to be with one exception that is currently being worked on, God willing. I am well aware that in order to build a successful relationship, you must put forth effort, understanding, compromise, etc. and that it requires one on one time to build it, mold it and make it into what you want it to be. Love isn’t created overnight and requires work and patience. A couple can not constantly spend time with others and expect their own union to flourish. Speaking from experience, I’ve been in a situation where a relationship began to depend on others to stay steady due to a connection being gone and becoming part of a group and no longer part of a couple. If they didn’t all stand at the alter with you and repeat the vows or share your bed with you when you lay down at night or stand in between your kisses and hugs, then they are NOT to always be in the picture when you require “couple” time. It seems cut and dry to me, but I’ve found that it’s truly not easy for some people to understand.
That being said, I’d also like to say that all people are not the same. I may deal with situations in life differently than others and that doesn’t mean that you’re right and I’m wrong or vice versa, it simply means that we’re different and that is completely fine. What’s not fine is judging me because I don’t do things your way. Yes, I’ve been through a divorce and I’m currently going through a second one and I don’t need anyone throwing that up in my face or questioning my actions in this world. Sometimes love comes on our time and always, it comes on God’s time and that’s what I believe in. If you don’t approve of my actions, that’s fine too, but don’t judge me, as somewhere along the road, I probably haven’t approved of all of your actions, yet being a good friend, I kept my judgment and opinions to myself and was there to let you cry on my shoulder when needed or dance in the rain when needed.
Friends are not in your life to judge you or put you down. They are there to be there to support your dreams, hopes, wishes, etc. If you continuously feel as though you are the only one giving and your ‘friends’ are always taking, they probably aren’t a friend. On the other hand, if a friend comes to you with an issue and addresses it as an adult, it doesn’t mean they are “putting you down” or “being mean” to you…they are simply putting things in perspective that you obviously didn’t think were wrong but upset someone else without your knowledge (or perhaps with it and you NEEDED to be called out). Either way, facing your giants is always going to be tough and being a coward will always be easy. Make that choice wisely as you never know the outcome of either, but I can assure you that maturity almost always wins.
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