Rebelicious

It’s taken me some time to think about this blog prior to writing is as I’m not a very controversial person, but I do believe in what I was raised on and feel as though I’m a pretty good person at the end of the day. That being said, please do not read more into this blog than what is written and turn it into something it’s not. Here we go y’all!

Last week, some folks were having a conversation about one girl’s brother dating a Caucasian girl. The girl speaking on the matter was an African American girl (just to avoid any confusion). So, the conversation taking place was that the brother girlfriend uses the “N” word in a derogatory manner (I don’t think there is any other manner, it’s an ugly word) and that the girl is trash and wears rebel flag shirts. Well, I was not part of the conversation, but my ears perked up like a dog at dinner time on that note. I didn’t say anything and kept listening to them bash the girl and her upbringing and choice of clothing. Finally (and I knew it was coming), one of the girls asked my opinion and I said, no one should ever use that word, black, white, Asian, Spanish, Italian, blue with orange polka dots…it’s a rude and disrespectful term and only meant to hurt people. So, the same girl then says, “Cris, do you wear rebel flags” and I said, “Why” (I NEVER saw this coming) and she said, “Because you’re friends with us and I just don’t think white people that wear rebel flags can really be friends with black people”. IS THAT SO MA’AM?

Let me just say that I cut the conversation off right there and said it was probably best not to make this a work topic. SERIOUSLY! Not only am I friends with ALL races and ethnicities, my best friend that I consider my sister is half Spanish, her husband is a black man, my nephew is obviously a mixture of the two, my aunt has never dated a white man, my uncle is married to a black woman, my daddy’s best friend that he considered a brother was a black man and you have the nerve to tell me that I can’t be friends with YOU because I wear a rebel flag on a t-shirt!?!? I think we can determine who the ignorant one of the two of us truly is and if you’re still confused, there are mirrors in the restroom.

I have never felt so offended in my life. And I wasn’t offended because she offended me, I was offended at HER ignorance and lack of couth. How can you judge a person like that? I don’t judge you because you wear earring that would fit around my thighs or question your lifestyle because you wear clear heels in the daytime, but you want to ask me something that stupid in the middle of the workplace of all places? I don’t really have anything further to say about it. Truth be told, people that really know me would never have to ask such a question and love me, cowboy boots, rebel flags, cupcake hairbows and all, because that’s me and where I come from and how I was raised. I’m just simple and southern and if that’s too much for you to handle, you can kiss my country ass!

New Year, New You (and ME TOO)!

I truly hope y’all are ready for the holidays, because they aren’t slowing down and will be here before you know it. That being said, I want to challenge you and myself…don’t wait until December 31, 2011 to make your resolution. Make the resolution now, prepare yourself for success and hit the ground running when 2012 shows it’s face! Without further hesitation, I give you my list…

1. I will renew my black card gym membership at the Planet. This means a few things. It first and foremost means that I have the necessary equipment and ability to get my body back in shape, I must supply the willpower and drive. It also means that I can take someone with me EVERY single time I go to the gym, so those of you that want to go without the commitment, let’s do it! My goal is to go to the gym at least three times a week for the first two months and then move to four times a week during the month of March (excluding my birthday week).
2. I will cut my caffeine intake to 8oz per day and it will be in the form of a diet drink that is dark or red and not yellow (Sundrop is a no-no). I will drink at least 64oz of water each day. I will drink 8oz of 1% milk per day.
3. I will eat healthier. I will eat white carbs with one meal per day, no exceptions. White carbs (for those of you that this confuses include but are not limited to: rice, white potatoes, bread, pasta, etc. I will be more observant of labels and what I’m putting in my body. Salad is my friend, not the enemy or just a “starter” before the main meal. Sweet potatoes are much better than white potatoes. Wheat pasta is not that bad. Season it up!
4. I will continue to accept my past and love myself for taking care of me when it was most important. I will not beat myself up for removing myself from a bad situation. I will not blame myself for another person’s negative behavior and actions. I will continue learning how to be happy and allow someone to love me without mistreating me and bringing me down. I will continue to love him in the same manner. Together, we are so much more than what we are apart.
5. I will continue renewing my faith and belief in my religious walk. I know I’ve questioned God and beat myself up about it, but it’s only human to ask why. Luckily, God understands and forgives and continues loving unconditionally.
6. I will accept my 30’s with open arms and know that I’m not getting older, only wiser and more educated!!! Bring it on!
7. I will overcome and beat Diabetes…my demon that lives within me and tries to bring me down. I know that by becoming healthier and more aware, it is VERY feasible to rid myself of this disease that has consumed me over the past few years. I can do it!
8. I will continue my self prescribed therapy in the form of writing and music. I haven’t come this far and not learned anything and I’m always willing and wanting to learn more.
9. I will end one era of my life and close the door, lock the door with ten deadbolts and throw away the key. And don’t you dare worry about this lil’ gal looking back.
10. I will not stop believing!

So, there you have it. I hope this pushes you to create your own list and be prepared when 2012 rears it’s head! Let’s make it a good one y’all!

All you need is a lil' fairy dust...

The past week has been eye opening for me. I realize that in order to get by in this world, at some point, I have to stand up for me and what I believe in. I get emails from so many people that read this blog, some that I don’t even know and they tell me stories of how I inspire them or motivate them and how my blog helped them through a hard time and so on and so forth and then I realized, would they still look up to me if they knew how easy it is for me to be weak when I’m alone. I hate confrontation, but if needed, I’ll jump right in the lion’s den, however, it’s usually in regard to someone upsetting my momma, my sister, my love, my friends, my dogs, etc…hardly ever is it when someone has betrayed me. I’m quick to defend the people who own my heart, but I let my own back carry footprints and stab wounds without recourse. Finally last week, a co-worker said, “Cris, why are you less important than those around you that you love?”. Dang, never really thought of it that way before, just kind of always went with it. However, last week, I stood up for myself and I stood my ground, even when my voice was shaking and tears fell freely down my cheeks, I never backed down, because I strongly believed in what I was fighting for and knew if I backed down, I would lose my footing and fall right back down. I remember being a kiddo and hearing the story of Chicken Little and “the sky falling”…that chicken ran all over town spreading word that the sky was falling and creating panic and chaos, yet never once stopped to think before I spread this rumor, perhaps I should consider that I may have been sitting under an apple tree. I need some folks to start considering the apple tree before you accuse and create panic and disorder and chaos in your world (and mine)! Life is too short for all this nonsense and self destruction. It’s also too short to spend it being stressed and miserable. Get back in the saddle and ride the horse…for God’s sake, if you fall off, you’re no worse off than you were sitting on the ground under that apple tree, right? At least you took the chance. No one ever won the lottery without buying a ticket. Surround yourself with love, happiness, smiles, giggles and a little bit of crazy (everyone needs a little bit of crazy) and I can almost assure you that you will find while one bad apple ruins the bunch, one ray of sunshine can melt the snowflakes. Again, I remind you, LIFE IS TOO SHORT! Believe and you shall receive…build it and they will come…YOU are the controller of YOUR own destiny! So, I leave you with a sprinkle of fairy dust ::twinkle, twinkle::…the rest is up to YOU!

Cowards vs Adults

There are times in my life when I’ve struggled to understand another person’s point of view and tried my best to find a fair medium. I’m going through a situation currently where I’m at a complete loss as to what to do to form a compromise and it’s fixing to end a friendship.

Since starting a new relationship with much future potential and anticipation, I’ve spent a lot of time building what we both hope to be a long relationship that will be both of our lasts. We’ve found in each other what we’ve both always wanted and life is finally where we’d both like it to be with one exception that is currently being worked on, God willing. I am well aware that in order to build a successful relationship, you must put forth effort, understanding, compromise, etc. and that it requires one on one time to build it, mold it and make it into what you want it to be. Love isn’t created overnight and requires work and patience. A couple can not constantly spend time with others and expect their own union to flourish. Speaking from experience, I’ve been in a situation where a relationship began to depend on others to stay steady due to a connection being gone and becoming part of a group and no longer part of a couple. If they didn’t all stand at the alter with you and repeat the vows or share your bed with you when you lay down at night or stand in between your kisses and hugs, then they are NOT to always be in the picture when you require “couple” time. It seems cut and dry to me, but I’ve found that it’s truly not easy for some people to understand.

That being said, I’d also like to say that all people are not the same. I may deal with situations in life differently than others and that doesn’t mean that you’re right and I’m wrong or vice versa, it simply means that we’re different and that is completely fine. What’s not fine is judging me because I don’t do things your way. Yes, I’ve been through a divorce and I’m currently going through a second one and I don’t need anyone throwing that up in my face or questioning my actions in this world. Sometimes love comes on our time and always, it comes on God’s time and that’s what I believe in. If you don’t approve of my actions, that’s fine too, but don’t judge me, as somewhere along the road, I probably haven’t approved of all of your actions, yet being a good friend, I kept my judgment and opinions to myself and was there to let you cry on my shoulder when needed or dance in the rain when needed.

Friends are not in your life to judge you or put you down. They are there to be there to support your dreams, hopes, wishes, etc. If you continuously feel as though you are the only one giving and your ‘friends’ are always taking, they probably aren’t a friend. On the other hand, if a friend comes to you with an issue and addresses it as an adult, it doesn’t mean they are “putting you down” or “being mean” to you…they are simply putting things in perspective that you obviously didn’t think were wrong but upset someone else without your knowledge (or perhaps with it and you NEEDED to be called out). Either way, facing your giants is always going to be tough and being a coward will always be easy. Make that choice wisely as you never know the outcome of either, but I can assure you that maturity almost always wins.