Heaven Bound (or are you?)

I am writing this blog in hopes that I will get some feedback that clears my mind on this subject.

It is known that I do not typically discuss politics or religion, but something has been bothering me lately as I see more and more cases of it and I need some clarification.

If you read this, identify the subject of my thoughts and only want to argue or judge me for what I’ve been taught thus far, DO NOT RESPOND.

Back in August, I had a friend give in to their demons and make the choice to take their own life. This wasn’t the first time I had someone close to me (currently or in my past) make a choice such as this. There were a few friends in school, an ex boyfriends grandparent, etc. I sat at her funeral and heard the preacher speak of seeing her again when we reach Heaven’s gates. I sat there with so much confusion and I’m sure it showed on my face. I was so upset that I had gone to this funeral alone and felt very alone, as no one else appeared as confused as I. Several days later, I reached out to a friend whose father was a pastor and asked, “was I taught wrong as a little girl, do people who take their own life really go to Heaven?” My friend assured me I was NOT taught incorrectly and the Bible states in Exodus 20:13, “Thou shalt not murder”. Suicide IS murder and it is a sin. You are forgiven if you throw yourself at the Lord and ask forgiveness, however if in your last breath you ask forgiveness and then take your own life, you have sinned and not repented.

I don’t know why this bothers me so bad, but it does. It eats at me to think I was misguided from children’s church forward with incorrect information in regards to my faith. I literally had to sit on my hands in a funeral for a suicide victim once to keep from wringing my hands. If I was brought up on the Rock and what I believe to be true, then you will NOT see your loved ones that have chosen this selfish and easy out in Heaven, as they will burn in the pits of Hell for eternity.

Again, I don’t want to argue and fuss and fight, it is just one of those subjects that bothers me a great deal and I must know what others have been taught along their path.

Thank you in advance.

I won't give up...

A little over a year ago, September 2011, I stood outside on the deck of my second home with my best friend after he had a particularly long and mindbending day. We had so much in common and it seemed he was the only person who could read the pain and stress on my face without us exchanging a word.

This day in particular stands out in my mind because reading his face that night, I knew things were taking a toll on him and it showed in the worry in his eyes and literally broke my heart. At this point, our relationship was only a friendship that meant quite a lot to both of us and I cared a lot already. As we talked outside that night, I remember telling him, I know it’s hard and I know it sucks a lot, but you’re not alone, I’m here and I’ll always be here, no matter what happens, no matter how hard the road becomes, no matter who is or is not around, I’ll be by your side for whatever you need. It was the first time in my life that I knew I would keep that promise until I took my last breath and I meant it with every ounce of my soul.

Well right now, the road is a little rocky and the tears can’t always be stopped and things are sometimes beyond our control, but we’ve kept that promise to each other and we’ve never once left each other’s side. The things that hurt and leave scars and cause tears are definitely beyond what we can change in the blink of an eye, but we hold on to hope, faith and Christ daily and know that He will fix things in His time and on His terms.

No matter what, I stand by what I said, I won’t give up. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. I’ll never stop believing in miracles, us and you.